Drum Roll Please.....

Well here it is, my very first...

‘I Get a Day Off From Writing and Feeling Pressure to be Funny and Get to Laugh at Your Stories and Share Some Blog Love’

Monday

I tried, but I can’t think of a better name. Meh. Whatever.

When I posted for interested guest bloggers, I was very afraid it would be like sending out invitations to a grand party and no one would come. Or like not being picked for Dodge Ball. Thank goodness I had many responses, because if not I would cry and no one needs to see that. 

I would kick ass at Dodge Ball by the way.

It seems fitting that my first guest blogger is no stranger here. Hook, from You’ve Been Hooked, is a husband, father, bellman and blogger extraordinaire. I read his blog religiously and as of late he has impressed me with a series of Top Ten Lists on a variety of subjects.

He sent me one. It’s about parenting.

I don’t get some of it because I am not as hip to all things pop culture related. But what I do understand is funny, so I’m guessing the rest is equally as comical.

But if its not, don’t blame me. Go over to Robert’s blog and tell him thereJ

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Ten Signs You May Have Lost Control of Your Kids.

As a dad, I’ve hit the jackpot: my daughter is respectful, smart and merciful enough to never abuse her intelligence by pulling one over on her old man.

But not every father is so lucky.

Here are ten signs that your own “Little Monsters” – I sure hope that Gaga chick doesn’t sic her legion of undead, blood-sucking lawyers on me – may be planning a revolt.

1)  They check the following books out of the library:

•       The Menendez Brothers’ Guide to Communicating With Your Parents.

•       Lindsay Lohan’s Guide to Parental Emancipation.

•       Everything You Want To Know About Untraceable Poisons.

•       Drew Barrymore’s Guide to Enjoying Your Childhood.

•       How to Train Your Shih Tzu to Kill.

2)  They ask if your kitchen knives are sharp enough to cut a brake line and they ask you to stay out of the garage for a little while.

3)  They start making you breakfast in bed, just as you notice glasses are disappearing from the cupboards…

4)  They ask for Sun Tzu’s The Art of War for Christmas.

5)  They start calling your wife’s old boyfriends up and inviting them for dinner.

6)  Your wife discovers she now has an account on ashelymadison.com – and 197 messages.

7)  They keep asking if your will is up-to-date.

8)  You hear the same question repeatedly “Are you sure we’re not adopted?”

9)  They hide your EpiPen and smear peanut butter all over your pillow.

10)  They continually petition your local YMCA to offer knife throwing classes.

Share some love and support through your comments (please) and tell Robert how great he is then go check out the rest of his blog!

Against my better judgment, I have asked Dylan to write a piece for you to enjoy in the near future.

He grinned like a wee little schoolgirl when I gave him free reign to write a tell-all expose on yours truly. I feel afraid. You should feel ready to pee your pants with excitement.

Stay tuned for another guest blogger next 'I Get a Day Off From Writing and Feeling Pressure to be Funny and Get to Laugh at Your Stories and Share Some Blog Love’ Monday.

I really need to work on that name.

And email me if you wanna join the fun.

Xo J