Social Media Phobia

Ok, I am going to be very honest with you. Social media confuses me. A lot.

I like to think I am a pretty clever gal, but this whole www thing causes me stress. Maybe its one of the reasons why my girls have zero technology relating to online interaction.  I am a control freak (shocker I know) and I fear that if they had Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn or Pinterest that I am simply not smart enough to monitor them or keep up.

There I said it. When the small people in my house read this I am for sure going to have to do the “I was wrong, you were right” dance and get out my jazz hands.

When I started this blog I sat at my computer and actually typed into Google “How do I start a blog?” I was directed to Wordpress and yup...after an hour of confusion I restarted with this Blogspot…it was way easier. For my readers who use Wordpress…please don’t laugh at me. Ok, you can a little bit. I was so proud of myself I decided to have a glass of wine that night to celebrate my online victory. Any excuse will do clearly. I am in the process of turning this blog into a website. Oh Lord help us all.

Another tidbit; it took me a week to realize that people could email me through the blog and I had no idea what the little button was on the top right hand corner indicating a number. I still have no clue what Google circles are, but I sure as hell will add you if you request it. I’m just not sure what it all does. Do me a favour will you? If you can explain any of this for me…message me. I know how the messagy thingy works now! Yeah me.

By far Twitter leaves me the most dumbfounded. I started a Twitter account when Quinn was 6. It was the cool thing to do. And I am super cool. I had like 5 people following me. Woot woot!! When I realized I really had nothing of interest to say in 140 characters or less (I am way to long winded for that) I decided I would dedicate the account to things my 6 year old says. I called it ‘Thoughts From a 6 year Old Brain’. You know like ‘Shit my Dad Say’s’….but more PG rated.  Don’t mock, it was a moment of pure genius to me.

I have been forced (not like gun to my head forced) but ‘strongly encouraged’ through this strike to master the Twitter thing. For the love of Pete, I noticed a person @ing me just today from like 4 weeks ago. Then there is the Twitter guilt I have. I see mentions/interaction/follows and I feel the need to thank them, mention back, re-tweet or follow. I yearn to be a good, polite Twitterer, I really do. I just can’t make any promises I can’t fulfill; it’s not in my nature.

I digress. As I was acquiring all this new found Twitter knowledge, I went back and re-read some of the stuff Quinn had said that I had tweeted just 4 short years ago. Where has the time gone that turned this quirky 6 year old into such a competent, caring, well rounded young lady? Pretty funny stuff still flies out of her mouth on a regular basis that allows me to spy on how her brain works, but as I re-read her words I had a really good laugh and wanted to share with youJ

Imagine her dimples as you read…they are super duper cute.

Thoughts from a 6 Year Old Brain

·      Dad, you need to do something about your hairy armpits! You could make a cat out of all that hair.

·      Dad, you could be a model…except you are not in shape and you are bald.

·      I’m gonna be a doctor when I grow up…or a shark trainer in the circus.

·      There’s this guy in my class. He’s a boy. He can burp his whole ABC’s…it’s cool.

·      Mom, your breath smells like farts.

·      Olivia, the goblin of death popped your balloon. It wasn’t me.

·      Dad, you nose looks like a bat cave, or your ears. Yup both.

·      Mom, I’ve been growing my feet lately, can you tell?

·      Mom, the growing fairy came last night. I am now an inch taller. Don’t worry, only my legs grew. Weird if my nose grew an inch eh?

·      (I found a note in her agenda thanking me for offering to make cookies for the class that morning) Quinn, did you sign me up to make cookies? Perhaps I did mommy, perhaps I did.

·      (After falling off her chair)Don’t worry mom. I’m ok, my bum broke my fall and it already has a crack in it.

·      Mom, that lady has the biggest boobers EVER. They are all hangy down. She needs a better bra I think.

·      Nana, do you know when you sorta die? Can I have your dog?

·      Mommy I saw Ukraines at the bird sanctuary today, and a nest of Magpipes.

·      Mom, these circles and bumps (cowlicks) in my hair are ruining my life!

The idea didn’t last very long and although I had/still have no idea what I am doing with most social media, I am very thankful that her words are frozen in Twitter cyberspace. I wish I could remember every little moment of each of their lives. There are times I wish I could freeze them in real time and not be so rushed…to simply enjoy the moment.

Feel free to add me on twitter @JAStilwell. I’m not very exciting, but I am trying and I will follow you back…if I can figure it out. I am proud to say that I have and understand Instagram. Don’t get to worked up, it’s just pictures of my dog.

But for now my phone just told me that Twitter has a notification for me.

I’m panicking.

xoxo

Miss Quinn...age 6