Monday 19 November 2012

Boy Bands and Almost 13 Year Olds


I have entered into anther dimension. Not willingly. Like a weird alter-underground world of Teenage Boy Band obsession.

The 'twits’ once known for their young lady-like composer with no interest in boys and a focus on sports and academics have had their body’s taken over by giggly obsessed screaming lunatics. I’m down right afraid.

Upside? Yet another reason for a glass of red. Yeah me.

What confuses me most is how memorizing science facts and fraction calculations is ever so difficult, but one can tell me at any given moment the age, eye color, number of tattoos and underwear style of five boys from the UK?

Peyton has all things One Direction memorized. No I mean like all things!! You name it she can answer it. Like she is their best friend.

Or a professional stalker. Whatever.

She has informed me that she is going to move to London and marry Harry or Louis. Dude, first of all you are 12 and they are like 20 something. That’s gross and illegal right now.
Second, when you tell me “either Harry or Louis” ...are you really marrying for love?
Atta girl…all for the fame and money.  
That’s a good foundation for marriage right there. I’m just so proud. I have taught you well. 
Parenting FAIL.

As I sit here typing, Peyton is watching the PVR of the boys on Ellen, The Today Show and XFactor…over and over and over again. Umm, haven’t we seen that like a gazillion times today alone? Shouldn’t you be cleaning your room or something? I bought her a 1D book the other day and told her she could have it when her homework was done, room was cleaned and she had herself ready for sports and school the next day. Turns out 'The Strike' could have been avoided simply by dangling a ‘One Direction Carrot’ at the end of a string?
Meh, you live you learn right?

I am not above bribing.
Never have been. Never will be.

Peyton’s room was once a lovely décor of pink and chocolate brown. I can no longer see the walls due to the posters. I feel like I should include this boy band in family portraits as they are taking up so much wall space at my house anyway. Any and all babysitting money is spent on teen magazines. I’m not holding my breath for a Christmas present.

She now uses the wall of visual love to quiz me about ‘who is who’ at the end of each day. I get them wrong on purpose just to see her roll her eyes at me and hear her think out loud how she could possibly be this women’s offspring.

When she leaves for London I will be left with a wall full of pinholes. A reminder of who she was as she fell in love for the first time…to strangers, but 12 year old love real to her nonetheless. One day I will be able to use the analogy of pinholes when a real boy breaks her heart for the first time.
I just impressed myself with that…geesh, I need to write that down.
For now, I’ll stick with  (get it?) the unattainable crushes staring at her while she sleeps each night. Kinda creepy...but still sweet in it’s own innocent way.

I followed all five of the band members on Twitter tonight…I’m cool like that. That’s how I roll. The irony for me is as all three were hanging off my shoulders for a peak at what their heartthrobs were tweeting the world, is that they don’t have cell phones or twitter, yet their über cool mom does. It’s just another twisted way for me to manipulate them.

“Oooh, you won’t believe what Harry tweeted today. I’ll read it to you as soon as your laundry is put away”
I shall add this to my super powers. This could be fun. Mwa ha ha!

I wasn’t allowed to have a boy band obsession. I went to Christian Private School and we listened to Christian Radio. Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith just didn’t cut it for plastering posters on my wall. I’m glad the girls have a boy band crush.  It’s part of growing up. I had a secret crush on Milli Vanilli (damn fakers ruined my world) and New Kids on the Block. Shhh, don’t tell my mom.

Funny, I just forgot the name of both above mentioned bands and had to Google to remember for this post. 
 Perhaps there is hope for Peyton after all.
Or I am just that old and uncool.

But I am singing ‘Step by Step’ in my head right now.
Oooh baby. Gonna get to you girl.

Xoxo
J


I have twitter and you don't..nah nah nah hah boo boo!
Stalker? Noooooo....




28 comments:

  1. Hahaha, for me it was Backstreet boys! My goodness! I still remember I didn´t know why I wanted to cry everytime I was lucky enough to catch them on tv (no youtube yet)... It has to be hormones. I wonder if men have the same reactions or if it is a test drive for maternity rush afterwards (kind of to test that the body can take it...). Anyway, I think it is one of the great memories that take through the days when you are old and worn out (hahaha and I´m only 31). It feels good to know that once you were able to feel with such an intensity. Such pure happiness...
    Today I am married to a musician myself, and it is so not romantic... But never tell them, we all deserve dreams. You are a good mom :)

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    1. Dylan was in a band when I met him...it was romantic at the time:)
      J

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  2. My daughter will be 13 in March and I am living the same life! Her pink/green room has now been taken over by 1D. I swear...our girls have the same bedroom! I have the Ellen episode on the DVR, after homework is complete she can watch it....again!!

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    1. Peyton wants to see a pic of your daughters room to see if there are any posters she is missing:)
      J

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  3. I don't know if you've had a chance to read my response to your last comment on my blog, Jessica. If not, here it is:

    "You’re lucky to have Dylan to keep your heart filled with love and your kids to keep your feet on the ground. And we certainly have come a long way, haven’t we, Jessica?
    Thank you for taking the time to visit and to reach out. As for your work, as your blog evolves so too will your “voice” and before you know it you’ll have enough material for a book and then some. This entire experience should prove quite enjoyable for you as you search your memories for material. Don’t forget to have fun, okay?
    I’d fight every critic in the tri-state area for a shot at what you’ve achieved. I can’t even get Ellen to return a single e-mail and I’ve sent dozens… And that’s a conservative estimate!"

    By the way, good work being the "Cool Mom" and taking a genuine interest in your daughters' interest/fascination. They'll never forget the effort that you and Dylan put forth. Trust me, you're laying the foundation for three cool, well-adjusted adults.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I did read your response...but I am not sure of blog etiquette yet? Am I suppose to respond to your response?:)
      If it makes you feel any better...I'm pretty sure everyone I know emailed or sent the blog to Ellen and I got nothing back either:) One of my dreams is to go see her show before I turn 40! I LOVE her!
      The girls don't always think I am 'cool mom'...mostly I am 'mean mom', but to me that just mean I am doing my job!
      J

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    2. I'm sorry, Jessica, one of the first stories I read about your blog was in The National Post and they reported that you would be appearing on Ellen. Sorry!

      Still, you made it to other shows that I'll likely never reach. And you don't have to respond to my response - that would be quite the vicious circle, right?

      And no one is ever thought of as the "Cool Parent" all the time!

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  4. To make you feel better, I was like this with the Backsteet Boys. It went from age 14-18. My room was plastered and I was CONVINCED if Nick Carter ever met me, he'd fall madly in love with me. I did meet him... and I blew it... but I swore up and down that I would redeem myself (I never did). We do grow up one day... but whenever BSB comes on the radio, I still need to crank it up and sing at the top of my lungs. And my heart still flutters when I follow Nick on Twitter. It's a girl thing... hahahaha

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  5. woah... the poster wall is scary!

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    1. I know right? I had to bite my tongue for the mess of a wall in my home!
      J

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  6. Ummmm are you forgetting about your sister and The Donnie Osmond Doll????

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    1. Why do ya gotta be like that? The issue is dead to me. I bought her her an original Donny Doll off of ebay to finally shut her up.
      For the love of Pete..let it go people.
      ps...I think the whole "Jessica threw Donny's microphone under the stairs" is a lie. I was a perfect younger sister.
      pps...I heart you

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  7. Okay, the first thing that struck me was how incredibly neatly those pictures are lined up on the wall.
    Hmm...like her mother? Maybe? A week bit? ;)

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  8. OMD! It was Bobbie Sherman, The Monkeys....

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  9. and now I am singing 'hey hey we're the Monkeys' in my head:)
    J

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  10. Hey, I knew you fairly well at the age of 13. Who are you kidding? We were obsessed with BSB, Corey Hart, AM 106 Top 10 at 10 and Brent Fraser- whoops, he wasn't famous. Anyhoo...I seem to remember us buying those mags at Mac's in Cedarbrae- the only difference is that we hid them under our bed so our moms wouldn't seen them after we hid under the slide at the park devouring every page of them.

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    1. I could't name the BSB's if I tried, but I still wear my sunglasses at night sometimes just to be cool.
      j

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  11. I feel like you are describing my life! My daughter's wall is full of 1D posters and also the Biebster! I tease her and call them things like "2 direction" or "wrong direction" etc. for me it was NKOTB,. I loved them, so I get it! Keep up the blog, I love reading it!

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    1. HAHAHA!! I totally used this today in the car and called them Wrong Direction. I could hear her eyes rolling at me!!

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  12. Thank you so much for this. Now I know how to motivate my almost 15 year old to do her chores.
    Who will be moving out and leaving me to marry Niall.

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    1. Do you think it will be awkward when your daughter and mine start to fight over him? lol
      J

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    2. It could be incredibly funny. I know when my daughter and her 9 year old cousin "fought" over who he would be with, I was doubled over with laughter.

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  13. The poster room is... AWESOME!! Takes me back to my youth, except my walls were papered in Looney Tunes (I shared with my brother until I was 14) and then covered in Duran Duran, Wham!, and Rob Lowe pix torn out of countless Tiger Beat mags - LOL! ;p

    My girl is 8 going on 14 and I'm struggling to hold back the Beiber tide... yikes. :\ Wish me luck!

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  14. OMG!!!
    WHAM!!!!!
    I am now singing Wake ME Up Before You Go-Go in my head.
    I loved them!! (Shhh...I still do)
    J

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  15. This is just amazing!I'm a 17 year old girl from the UK and my wall is just like your daughters (only 5 1D posters, though!)
    It won't stop anytime soon, I promise. It started at 8 for me. It was Backstreet boys, Blue and N*Sync. Now I've got 1D, McFly, The Wanted, Paramore, Jonas Brothers, etc on my wall. Mum sometimes threatens that one day they won't be there if I leave the house without my bed being made.

    Besides, Harry would probably be more interested in you than your daughter, LOL!

    Anyways, came across your blog whilst researching articles for my coursework. LOVE your blog. It's amazing to see how mothers think.I think I'm going to go make mum some tea!


    -Ash xoxo

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    1. I don't even know your mum, but I like her anyway!! I know I like you for two reasons..you are doing your homework AND you made your mum a cup of tea!!! Nice work!! I wish I knew who all the bands you listed are, but I am sure Peyton will fill me in:)
      J

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