Are They Twins?

When I was a little girl I dreamed I would have twins. Twin girls and only girls! Whether it was with my Cabbage Patch Kids or in the Game of Life…this was my ultimate goal in imagination play.

Funny how life works out isn’t it.

I don’t think of the girls as a novelty. To us they are no more alike than two siblings that simply share a birthday. In fact, I refused (or tried) to let anyone ever call them “The Twins”.  I have a friend who calls them 'The Twits' now…to which I am perfectly more than ok with. 'The Basement Trolls'  works as well.

What I never imagined as a little girl playing house was how other people would see my litter of babies and what the human mind could possible say to you about having two babies at once. Strangers amuse me.

They were born in the winter so outings were usually me at the mall. Cutesy streamlined drop-the car-seat bucket-in strollers didn’t exist back then. So it was me with the freaking double wide stroller with back up warnings lights and a speaker on the side playing the circus theme song as I walked. I learned very quickly…head down, no eye contact.

Here are some of my favorites with my actual answers…or at least what I wish I could have replied with my outside voice.

Q. Are they both yours?

A. No, just this one. I found the other one at the park and I was bored with just one, so I picked her up for the hell of it.

A. No, one is mine and one is my husbands.

Q. Are there twins in your family?

A.  It appears there are now.

Q. Did you use fertility drugs?

A. Yup…a shot of and Jägermiester and a couple of beers.

Q. Did you have them vaginally?

A. I’m sorry; I don’t even know your name. Why are we talking about my vagina?

Q. Are they identical?

A. No

Q. Are you sure? I think they are? Yup, they are for sure. Totally identical.

A. Oh, ok…cuz you would totally know better than me. Whew, thank you for setting me straight. I am so glad I met you. Let’s be best friends.

Q. Are they twins?
A. No, I just had them really close together.

A. You do the math Einstein. Two babies, same size, one mother. Double stroller, coordinated outfits, and an uncanny resemblance to each other. Let me know what you come up with.

As they don’t really look alike anymore, and are not adorable chubby babies that innately draw a crowd, the shit-show attention circus of going out is over.  Truth be told, I think now all people see is teenagers and they exit stage left as fast as possible. I wish I could follow them.

When I see a mom out with twin babies now, I recognize the all too familiar anxiety, bracing herself for the comments. I smile softly and tell her they are beautiful. If we get into a conversation, I let her know immediately I have twins. It’s like a secret code of twin motherhood that allows her to know I get it!  I’m a safe adult to talk to.  What I really want to tell her is that babies are the easy part. I want to let her know to enjoy every second of worrying about the consistency of their poo and how much they ate…cuz it just gets worse from here.

Small people = small problems.

But I don’t want to scare her. Instead I just turn the conversation to wine recommendations. That’s valuable information she will thank me for in the future.

I still get some odd comments now and then. To me…it’s just my life. My crazy life that I love and wouldn’t change for the world.

xo

J

Together again xo

Growing up a little

Enough said.