I recently went on a ‘mommy strike’ and have been sharing my experiences about it in a ‘logbook’ type fashion on Facebook. Much to my surprise, the response has been overwhelming and I have been asked to share it more publicly. So here it is…my very own blog.
Please feel free to share:) I have a feeling I am not the only crazy working mother out there!!
Tuesday, 7 May 2013
Sprinkled Chocolate Balls
I have what some may describe as an ‘addictive personality’.
No need for any under-your-breath comments about my wine drinking here. I do
try to keep things under control and have learned that anything beyond the 25
cent slots are not permissible for me in Vegas. Sweet Balls do I love Vegas.
It’s an addictive personality gals heaven. It’s a good thing any card related
gambling confuses the hell out of me. Too much math and remembering.
I am NOT a ‘gamer’. I hate video games and it would annoy me
beyond all belief when Dylan and I were first married to come home and find his
sorry ass planted in front of the TV with a controller in hand. What a waste of
time. Seriously, you could have been dusting decorative candles and collecting
socks for the past 8 hours. Although I do have a very cute picture of two
newborn babies sleeping on his chest as he reclined in a chair manipulating the
controllers around small humans to steal and crash a pretend car on the big
However, you may have noticed that I have not posted a blog
in a while. We all know my life is crazy right now and although I am feeling
somewhat in the spring sports rhythm, something else has taken over my life.
I am not proud.
But I need to say the words.
My name is Jessica Stilwell
and I am a Candy Crush-oholic.
There. I said it. Admitting
the problem is the first step to recovery right?
I call bullshit. All I can think about is candy. Red candy. Blue candy. Striped candy.
Packaged candy. Falling candy. Exploding
candy. Don’t even get me started on matching two ‘specials’ together and oh Lord, I never knew how a sprinkled chocolate ball could make me squeal.
I find it all very odd, as I don’t even have a sweet tooth.
About two months ago I was all judgy and making fun of one
of my friends for her Candy Crush addiction. She didn’t know I was judging her
for wasting her life away at the time...but I guess the cat is out of the bag now
as she religiously reads this blog. Well, my friend I am sorry and since you
are at level 346, you are now officially my hero.
Wax on, wax off Mr. Miyagi. I am your young grasshopper.
Please teach me your ways.
I am actually having Candy Crush dreams. In a perfect
fantasy sequence, the candy stars align and I can close my eyes and see not one, but two sprinkle chocolate
balls fall into place. Side by sweet candy side while a packaged and a striped candy
lay beneath. It’s like Candy Crush wet dreams.
Dylan appears annoyed that I am not all that focused on him
as of late…I told him when his balls are chocolate and covered in sprinkles we
can talk. Ohhhh! That would be two side-by-side chocolate sprinkle balls.
Imagine that explosion. It would clear the entire screen.
The game is designed to hook you. Or perhaps that’s just how
pitiful I am. It is dazzlingly created to draw you in and spend money to buy more
lives, extra moves and powers. It taunts you with its tempting ways. Chanting “Just one more chance. Come on Jess, this
time you will succeed. I promise. It’s your lucky day. Special price just for
you. What can one little purchase hurt? Come on, everybody’s doing it. Don’t
you want to be cool? Good girl. Go ahead, breath deeply and match those
candies. Now doesn’t that feel better?”
Ok…so my credit card bill may look a little odd this month
but whatever, I totally kicked level 87's ass with a mere 24 dollars. You see, up
until recently I was playing on the down-low. I was hiding my newfound addiction like
a dirty little crack secret until I found out you could link that shit up on
Facebook and get lives and gifts from friends who also play the game. I was
wary and cautious at first due to my embarrassment. After all, I have been very
vocal about my hatred for updates and invites from those stupid Facebook games
junking up my newsfeed.
Like really…who actually plays those??
Well, as it turns out there are hundreds of losers players
JUST LIKE ME!! And now I can play continuously. ALL. DAY. LONG. All because of the bonbon love from my
Facebook friends. It’s like fricken’ Christmas morning when I see a friend has
sent me a Candy Crush ‘Gift”.
I’m feeling the love people. Feeling the love.
I am so pathetic that I flip back and forth from my iPhone
to Facebook as I think I am brilliant enough as to have figured out a way to
leave one game open so it doesn’t sync with the lives I have used on the other
device. Boooya Candy Bitches. I own you.
No...not really. They totally own me.
My nights used to be a glass of wine, some favorite shows
and a good conversation with my husband.
Then I started blogging and it was a glass of wine, some TV
and my writing.Now it’s a glass of wine and my candies.
Just me and my
My job and my children are really getting in the way of my
confectionaries and I’m pretty sure I will eventually have to do some laundry and go
grocery shopping. Why do they have to eat all the time? Didn’t I just feed them
yesterday? They are so high maintenance. Why can't they just eat candy?
Maybe Dylan will hire someone to replace me when I am taken
off to Candy Crush Rehab.
Who wants to be my roommate? We shall decorate our room with stripes and sprinkles.
Ok…you may go ahead and judge me now. But when you are done
judging if you could be ever so kind and send me some lives and extra moves?
I wish I could give photo credits…but it was just going around Facebook.
Word of Advice: If this post makes no sense to you…GOOD! Keep it that way. If
you have no idea what I am talking about and do not play the game then DO NOT
START. Not even one little level. Trust me, consider yourself warned and you