NYC: Big Lights Will Inspire You

I haven’t written anything for a week and I am feeling a bit of blog pressure to please. So…

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey we have a drink named after you”. The grasshopper replies, “You have a drink named Bob?”

Whew, now that we have an initial laugh out of the way from my AWESOME joke, I want to share some candid observations and experiences about my adventures to NYC.

New York is an amazing city. The people are so nice!! This Canadian girl learned so much and I could have spent so much more time there. Maybe one day I will get to go backJ We fit in as many touristy things as possible…some sights seen from the back of cab but we saw them nonetheless.

Do you want to know how to spot the Canadian tourist in NYC? They will be the one actually waiting for the small walking man in the street light giving them permission to cross the street. The first day as I was looking around at all the rebels crossing against the walking man; I wanted to politely warn them that this crazy shit is against the LAW and will get you a ticket. By the second day I looked both ways and crossed cautiously with the crowd (ok I ran like a wild chicken) and was thrilled by my outright disregard for any jaywalking laws. By the third day I was all ‘New York’; I stepped of the curb without a glance, banged on the hoods of cars and cheered on my inner woman. Yeah that’s how I roll…I cross streets when the red hand is flashing. Super Blogger Mommy and Rebel without a cause.  My cape was flapping in the wind behind me. But not in Calgary…that would go against my law-abiding nature.

Shopping was unreal. I didn’t have that much time but rest assured we did make a purchase right after we checked into the hotel. Yup, we hit a store just off Times Square and bought tampons and a bottle of wine. Hard core I know. By the way, the wine was for me. Note to self: Red wine bought from a drug store is NOT for quality but for convenience.

Hailing a cab looks SO super easy in the movies and on TV. For crying out loud there are literally thousands of the yellow things driving round. Turns out not so stress-free. I think I need longer sexy legs. I believe the drivers were playing there own twisted game of  ‘Spot the Tourist’. Not a hard game to win, just look for the two chic’s staring up at the buildings with their jaw dropped open the entire time as they walked and bumped into people. (Don’t worry, we apologized and said a million “excuse me’s”). Imagine Breaking Amish meets Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

I have driven and/or taken cabs in a lot of different places. Hands down I feared for my life in some of these New York rides. On one particular ride when I was actually praying for my life, I asked to take a picture of the cab driver to document his Ride of Death. He said no, but I was to busy kissing the solid ground to really care. I think he just wanted me out of his cab as I spent the ride with my head out of the window gasping for air as I was hyperventilating and holding down puke.

Another lesson in control for me: I do NOT make a good passenger at the best of times, let alone a cab in NYC. What’s with the freaking horns? Here’s a tidbit about me; I actually drove the car from the church after our wedding ceremony to the reception. Don’t worry ‘Danny’ held the door open for me. I told him it was because I got car sick…really it was because I am the better driver.

Word of advice, even if your feet are hurting it is indeed still worth the time to look at a map before you hail a cab. Turns out Hell’s Kitchen isn’t really that far from Time Square and the cab driver WILL laugh at you and take your money when you can see your destination from your starting point. They should really put brighter lights in Time Square so you can see if your close to it…oh wait, never mind.

I like to think I am somewhat classy and well rounded. Thanks mom and dad. Turns out no matter how respectable you think you are, after having three children, a couple (ahem) glasses of wine and a sister that says something funny you will indeed pee your pants in the middle of Broadway in the Upper West Side. Not like a full on pee my pants, more like a pee sprinkle. Damn bladder control. I love my children, I love my children, I love my children. My body is a badge of honour…..blah blah blah. Whatever.

I am now a pro at getting my hair and make up done all with nerves of steel before a live audience or show taping. Just kidding, I sweat like a pig and have learned that still shots or ‘teasers’ before your segment are the WORST things ever. I am SO super duper glad that the picture of me all over the Internet and print media looks like a passport picture. My left eye was twitching I was so nervous. Seriously, happy shiny inspirational mom looks like grumpy serial killer on death row. Wicked. Not.

Do you have a sister? I do and she was my self-appointed manager/handler for these last two weeks. But first and foremost she is my best friend. I often look at my own three little darlings so close in age and wonder if they will ever stop fighting (Yes I have read parenting books about sibling rivalry. No need to judge). My wish for my girls is to grow up and have a relationship with each other just like I have with my own sister. She was and continues to be an amazing support to me. Who else will grab your phone without a word when she knows you have had enough? Who else will force a banana down your throat so you don’t pass out on national television or tell you that you need a piece of gum as to not kill the host with your coffee breath? Who else can handle eating lunch alone even though you are sitting across from her but your face is in your iPhone? Who else can talk you off the ledge and get you to take the New York Subway reminding you that CSI is indeed just a TV show? My sister that’s who! She rocks…enough said.  Although I do think she preferred New York with just the two of us compared to L.A with three children. Being Manager sister is way more fun than Nanny sister. I really need to find a way to show her my gratitude for all she has done. Maybe I should take her on a trip to New York or L.A as a thank you.

My media experience has been awesome! Everyone I have met from film crews to producers to the actual hosts have been nothing but kind to my family and me. I high fived Matt Lauer!! Ya I did. My hands were clammy, but I high fived him!

FYI…not all green rooms are actually green. This is very odd to me, but I digress.

‘Danny’ has been super busy himself and continues to amaze me as a husband and father. I should really make sure he gets out golfing more often.

Stay tuned for updates fro my Hollywood trip….all I can say is WOW!!! That town has some freaky!!

xoxo

J

The World Trade Centre site was a humbling experience. I will never forget. My sister looks a bit snuggly with the fireman???