Sunday, 14 October 2012
Make Your Actions Count
I have had two ‘dreams’ on my to-do list before I turn 40. Going to New York was one of them and I cannot even begin to describe what an amazing experience it was. I think I may write a book and I shall call it:
How To Do New York On a Budget
CHAPTER ONE: Write a Blog That Goes Viral.
By Jessica A. Stilwell
In all seriousness, I will be writing more in depth about my experiences and observation while in NYC when I can actually sit down and my phone stops ringing.
For now, I want to share something that has been on my heart all day.
Cleary this blog has gained a lot of media attention. I never in a million years thought this would happen, nor was it my goal. As expected in the media, this has stirred up a lot of controversy and as a result there has been some pretty nasty stuff flying around about my parenting, my husband, my children and me. First and foremost, it is clear that most Negative Nancy’s have not read my blog, yet feel the need to put their own two cents in without doing their research.... which actually blows my mind.
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY!!! WE HAVE TAUGHT THEM REPONSIBLITY FROM A VERY YOUNG AGE. THEY HAVE CHORES AND FAMILY RESPONSIBLITIES AROUND THE HOME!! WE GOT BUSY WITH LIFE AND THE TEAM EFFORT WAS SLIPPING. I WENT ON STRIKE AS A REMINDER INSTEAD OF NAGGING!! READ THE BLOG PEOPLE.
Whew...I totally feel better after yelling typing.
However, rest assured that we as a family have decided not to pay any attention to the negativity. This will be my only personal response to it. We sat as a family tonight and discussed all that as been going on and how the kids are feeling about it. They are fine…there is no need to call social services, put me in jail or send me the Worst Mother EVER award in the mail. I have also told the girls that at any point and time if they are feeling overwhelmed or have had enough, I will pull the plug and take the blog down with no more media. They are and always have been my priority. I have never been so proud of my children, their sense of humour, their resiliency and outlook on life. My family is freaking AWESOME!!! Yeah me!
But here is my message.
In light of the tragic recent headlines of Amanda Todd; the Vancouver area teen that committed suicide after her countless desperate pleas for help after being bullied, I NEED to say something here. I have learned a lot about social media this week...but THIS is the important news…bullying, cyber bullying, anti bullying, bullying awareness, kids cutting and teen suicide when there appears to be no way out. These are real issues facing our young people today. Not just for Amanda Todd, but for all the young people facing this in real life each day.
So for all the adults that have had ever so nasty things to say on my blog or elsewhere online about my parenting…I encourage you to ask yourself what you are teaching your own children by posting terrible things about me and my family without even knowing me or reading something so readily available to answer your questions? Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but what about teaching our children to communicate respectfully with each other without mean or hurtful words?
As you are judging me with toxic words…please ask yourself as you are calling me and my children names; what are your own children learning from YOU and how that will affect their actions and relationships around them. Are you part of the problem or part of the solution?
More is caught than is taught people…. perhaps taking the time to look inward and at your own actions and influence on your own children is more important than taking the time to insult me and bully me and others online.
My heart breaks for Amanda Todd and her family and friends. I ache and pray for each and every young person that faces bullying and the feeling of un-acceptance every day. Make your words count. Make your actions count even more. Make a difference.
Tell your kids how much you love them, how proud you are of them and how wonderful they are....just as they are. I do each and every day…even with a messy kitchen and dirty socks on my floor. Then show them through your actions how to treat other people with respect and kindness.
So here are my blog rules:
If you have something nasty to say, please take it elsewhere. For the love of Pete, there are like a million articles online where you could state your opinion. If you simply Google my name you will get LOTS of options! It will not be here on my blog...this is my domain, my platform. This is meant for a light look at what it means to be a real life crazy working mom. Laughter is good for the soul. Parenting is the hardest job you will EVER do…humour helps keep it in perspective.
If you post something unkind here on MY blog, I will not engage you or respond, after all, isn’t that what you are looking for? Well, not here. I will just delete the comment. I will do it politely, after all I am Canadian. I’m sorry, thank-you and excuse me for bothering you. You see...I have the blog power! Like superman. Or spider woman. Or maybe I will make up my own super hero…Blogger Wonder Mommy. I need a theme song...and a cape, for sure a cape.
Sticks and stones do break bones…and words really do hurt, no matter how prepared and strong you think you are. Rest gently Amanda Todd.
For each negative comment on my blog and online I have had a 1000x in positives!!! I wish I could respond to each and every one of you and it is my goal to. But for now, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. For those of you that have gone to bat for me…you made me tear up. Sniff sniff.
Ok…heavy stuff I know. But important stuff. My next blog will be much funnier, I promise. Really, how much material do you think I have from the mistake of the media calling my husband ‘Danny’ on live television??
For the gentleman that took the time to correct me in my blog regards to spelling ‘pay cheque’ incorrectly…. thank you ever so much. I’m sure we will both sleep better tonight.
For the poster that felt the need to ‘bet’ my “kids no doubt got to use all their gadgets for social media regarding the strike”… actually my children are not allowed a Facebook or Twitter account and are not allowed a cell phone until they can pay the bill themselves. I also have the computer in the kitchen so I can monitor their online time. GASP!! Maybe I really am the meanest worst mom in the world.
For all the moms that with young children that have commented on my blog and ALL over the internet. I am so glad that your two year old can fold socks and towels while your four year old has a blast dusting with a damp cloth. Congratulations! I really mean it when I say you are doing a great job involving them early. I did it too!! Talk to me in ten years. Puberty does crazy things to emotions and your wonderfully helpful children. You may not even recognize them.
Awe crap, I could go on forever…I choose not too. Starting now.
We all have great intentions. Not one parent I have ever met wakes up and says. “Well this seems like a good day to be a shitty parent” We all try to do our best! Keep at it!! I applaud you all on this parenting marathon!! Let’s not judge each other, let’s support each other as women, men, mothers, fathers and families. Don’t we all have the same goal? For them to move out right? Kidding…sorta a little bit…not really, no.
Be kind!! Do it for your kids, for yourselves and for Amanda Todd.