Thursday, 12 September 2013

I Want To Give You A Prize

Hey…. remember me?
Zip it.

I know it’s been a while, but this bloggy mom has been a bit a bit overwhelmed with real life since the blur of ‘The Strike’ last year. I decided to take a much-needed break from feeling the pressure to write and enjoy my summer with my family.

I’m sorry I didn’t announce it…kinda like I didn’t announce the Strike to the children. You all handled my silence way better than the basement trolls.
Bravo you!

Lets clarify ‘enjoy summer with family’.

I worked.

After all, one does not have many holidays left when one took said vacation days to drive kids to sports tournaments in the spring. Just for you to send me some pity or some wine, I calculated the kilometers I traveled in 12 weeks for tournaments only (not including in-town games or practices) from the end of April to the end of middle of July.

6,055kms. That’s right…I could have traveled across Canada and back again. I didn’t see my fabulous Country from one coast to the other…. instead I sat in hot gyms and slept in some sketchy hotels in God knows were. And I loved it.

So although my summer was relaxing without the rush of sports, it was spent balancing work with bored kids tattletale texting from home. I had by definition real teenagers this summer and true to theory those little loves slept till almost noon everyday if I didn’t threaten iPhone confiscation.

I’m not gonna lie, the quiet mornings were lovely but it did come down to a ‘pay now or pay later’ scenario. I didn’t like the pay later when I had two thirteen year olds interrupting my wine and Jax Teller time at 11:00pm. And I love me some wine and Jax Teller. It wasn’t pretty.

I did come across a bit of a quandary this summer. Whenever my girls babysit or spend time at friends or relatives, I am guaranteed at some point to receive a message or call to let me know how wonderful and helpful my young ladies are. Hell, even the Camp Counselors sent me letters about what helpful leaders the girls were during their week away. Amazing descriptions are relayed to me of children cleaning and tidying without being asked, always being mindful and respectful while being an overall  joy to spend time with.  

As I beam with pride after these conversations, you can imagine my confusion when I walk into my own home after a days work and see two teenagers in there jammies leaving ass-prints on the couch while licking Nutella out of the bowl in their laps. And then rolling their eyes at me when I question what they did all day.

What the deuce???? Sigh…at least I can tell the media I have proof they do know how to cook and clean and perhaps they will indeed be successful well-rounded and responsible adults.  Parenting gold star for me. I’m just gonna stop holding my breath that it will happen in this house. Ever.

But can you hear that? Shhhh, listen closer. It’s the sound of angels singing and school bells ringing. As it all begins again, I hope to get back into the blogging groove. I’ve got a lot of crazy in my head...I just need to get it to the screen.

So what better way to welcome the fall than a give away?  That’s right, yours truly would like to host my very first reader give away. I have no idea how...but here goes.

Comment here on my blog or on my Facebook page (duh…ya gotta like it first: click the button on the top right) and tell me a creative parenting moment. It can be a lovely fluffy Pinterest worthy tale or how you failed miserably. I prefer the failure. And I won’t judge. Ever.

Or you can just tell me how much you love me.
Or what your favourite colour is.
Or guess what number I am thinking of.

I will pick two winners (four tickets each) based on….umm I dunno? If I like you I guess (my contest, my rules) and send you tickets for your family to attend to the 30th annual Calgary Home and Design Show on Friday September 20th, 2013.

I know…impressive eh? That’s how I roll. The passes do come with some swag and there are really great activities for your whole family. Plus when you see all the designer ideas and this years latest trends, it will make you feel really shitty about the state of your own house and lack of Martha-esqueness. Wait…just me? Never mind.

FYI, the Property Brothers are going to be there. I LOVE those guys. If that is not enough to entice you to enter my fabulous give away, then it is highly possible you may be dead from the toenails up. Seriously, they are super yummy.

Ok, so I do see some fault in this. If you don’t live in Calgary it may be a “longish” commute. But Calgary is a really lovely city and we came through that flood and all and you should visit. We could drink wine together. But if you don’t live here, send me a story anyway. I like funny. Of course I will still enjoy a glass without you sitting with me, but I will totally give you an air toast. So it will almost be like we are BFF’s laughing together over a bottle of red.

So if no one participates in this contest, it turns out I have some free VIP tickets to the Calgary Home and Design Show…any takers? I’ll be there too. You can find me camped out next to Drew and Jonathon.

Xo J
PS. If ya want the tickets you gotta leave your name and emailJ


  1. Have missed you this summer, I thought I might see you on "whatever happened to..."
    I don't have a parenting tip to win your contest, but I do have three words that will hopefully have me in the running: Jax Teller Baby!
    I had no idea....we have to talk...and drink wine...

  2. 145... enough said! Welcome back lovey!


    But seriously, welcome back, old friend. You've been sorely missed.

    1) I love you more than I love pork chops - and that's bunches!
    2) Blue.
    3) 42?

    As for the paradox that your kids present you with: welcome to parenthood, babe.
    Talk to you soon, Jessica.

  4. No entry here as I'm in Saskatchewan and not able to make it to Calgary ...though I love the Property Bros too! Not only are they intelligent but they're pretty easy on these old eyes.

    I just wanted to say, when my daughter was 13-14 and started her first part-time job (at the gymnastics centre) I used to get the same type of comments, helpful, tidy, hardworking. I remember asking if they'd send that child home with me. Never happened!

    Good luck with teenagers...the wine helps!

  5. How does anyone survive parenthood without wine? I live in Cow town also. My kids are 3 years old and 12 months old. I would LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE to drink wine with you because I just survived my son's terrible two's (terrible being an understatement) and I need more wine to prep for round 2 of this shit when my second son turns 2 a year from now. We can compare notes- what the hell is worse- toddlers or teenagers (that's going to be a close race). I would also love to go to the Home and Design show because I love being reminded of the Martha failure that I am. It will send me into a pit of self loathing and despair, which will then make me consume more wine, and that's a good thing.

    1. Hello wine drinking Calgary mama….I need your email:) Send it to me at

  6. Great story of the mom. I enjoyed reading.

  7. Hmm… your catch is very appealing. But I guess I dropped by a little late. Haha! However, it’s great that you threw a simple contest like this. It made us think of those cherished moments we have with our family.


  8. I want to have a prize too! haha.. you got me there' your title was too catchy and it got my attention to read this story. It is interesting. Thanks for sharing.