Boy Bands and Almost 13 Year Olds

I have entered into anther dimension. Not willingly. Like a weird alter-underground world of Teenage Boy Band obsession.

The 'twits’ once known for their young lady-like composer with no interest in boys and a focus on sports and academics have had their body’s taken over by giggly obsessed screaming lunatics. I’m down right afraid.

Upside? Yet another reason for a glass of red. Yeah me.

What confuses me most is how memorizing science facts and fraction calculations is ever so difficult, but one can tell me at any given moment the age, eye color, number of tattoos and underwear style of five boys from the UK?

Peyton has all things One Direction memorized. No I mean like all things!! You name it she can answer it. Like she is their best friend.

Or a professional stalker. Whatever.

She has informed me that she is going to move to London and marry Harry or Louis. Dude, first of all you are 12 and they are like 20 something. That’s gross and illegal right now.

Second, when you tell me “either Harry or Louis” ...are you really marrying for love?

Atta girl…all for the fame and money.  

That’s a good foundation for marriage right there. I’m just so proud. I have taught you well. 

Parenting FAIL.

As I sit here typing, Peyton is watching the PVR of the boys on Ellen, The Today Show and XFactor…over and over and over again. Umm, haven’t we seen that like a gazillion times today alone? Shouldn’t you be cleaning your room or something? I bought her a 1D book the other day and told her she could have it when her homework was done, room was cleaned and she had herself ready for sports and school the next day. Turns out 'The Strike' could have been avoided simply by dangling a ‘One Direction Carrot’ at the end of a string?

Meh, you live you learn right?

I am not above bribing.

Never have been. Never will be.

Peyton’s room was once a lovely décor of pink and chocolate brown. I can no longer see the walls due to the posters. I feel like I should include this boy band in family portraits as they are taking up so much wall space at my house anyway. Any and all babysitting money is spent on teen magazines. I’m not holding my breath for a Christmas present.

She now uses the wall of visual love to quiz me about ‘who is who’ at the end of each day. I get them wrong on purpose just to see her roll her eyes at me and hear her think out loud how she could possibly be this women’s offspring.

When she leaves for London I will be left with a wall full of pinholes. A reminder of who she was as she fell in love for the first time…to strangers, but 12 year old love real to her nonetheless. One day I will be able to use the analogy of pinholes when a real boy breaks her heart for the first time.

I just impressed myself with that…geesh, I need to write that down.

For now, I’ll stick with  (get it?) the unattainable crushes staring at her while she sleeps each night. Kinda creepy...but still sweet in it’s own innocent way.

I followed all five of the band members on Twitter tonight…I’m cool like that. That’s how I roll. The irony for me is as all three were hanging off my shoulders for a peak at what their heartthrobs were tweeting the world, is that they don’t have cell phones or twitter, yet their über cool mom does. It’s just another twisted way for me to manipulate them.

“Oooh, you won’t believe what Harry tweeted today. I’ll read it to you as soon as your laundry is put away”

I shall add this to my super powers. This could be fun. Mwa ha ha!

I wasn’t allowed to have a boy band obsession. I went to Christian Private School and we listened to Christian Radio. Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith just didn’t cut it for plastering posters on my wall. I’m glad the girls have a boy band crush.  It’s part of growing up. I had a secret crush on Milli Vanilli (damn fakers ruined my world) and New Kids on the Block. Shhh, don’t tell my mom.

Funny, I just forgot the name of both above mentioned bands and had to Google to remember for this post. 

 Perhaps there is hope for Peyton after all.

Or I am just that old and uncool.

But I am singing ‘Step by Step’ in my head right now.

Oooh baby. Gonna get to you girl.

Xoxo

J

I have twitter and you don't..nah nah nah hah boo boo!

Stalker? Noooooo....